Eric + Bandou + Feels

[redstray]

[ December 8th, just early enough for some small cracks of light to filter through the sky. Not that Eric was paying attention to that as he entered the bar. It should have just remained dark, the sun shouldn't shine after what just happened.  They all had just gotten back from the beach, just after...the funeral. He ignored everyone as he placed himself on his usual spot on the couch. And though he stopped doing it a while ago, today he put his legs up like he used to and curled up in a ball.

Kusanagi was saying something to everyone but he couldn't hear, he didn't feel like paying attention to anything that anyone had to say right now. Totsuka was dead and that's really all that went through his head.

The next time he looked up he saw that a lot of the members of Homra were gone, and there was a small plate of breakfast in front of him. He ignored it as well and continued to sit like that.  ]

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[chickshades]

[ Bandou was lingering in the doorway to the bar, hands in his pockets. Shouhei had tried to get him to go out, do something enjoyable together to clear their minds, but he'd insisted on staying at the bar, at least a little longer. ]

I'll give you a call later, when I leave. Just, don't do anything stupid while without me there, okay?

[ The bar door closed and Bandou sighed, walking slowly into the room. He glanced around, taking in the surroundings and all the memories that had happened here over the years. How long had he been with HOMRA now? It seemed like forever, and Totsuka had always been there.

As he glances around, he catches sight of Eric seated on the couch. Oh, he thought everyone else had left... With another sigh, he slumps down on the couch beside him. ]

I don't have any appetite either.

[redstray]

[ Bandou's voice manages to reach Eric and he lifts his head to notice the other sitting beside him. Gripping his legs tighter he stares at the food, trying not to look at the other, he must've looked horrible with all the crying he did, not that he cared. ]

...mm

[chickshades]

[ It was small talk, but he didn't know what else to say. I mean, there were a ton of things he could say. He could bring up all the good times - reminisce. But...wouldn't that just make them feel worse?

Just thinking about it was making it well up inside him again. He removed his glasses, rubbing at his eyes. ]

[redstray]

[ He glanced at the sunglasses before tilting his head back up to look at Bandou's face. He vaguely thought it was rare he saw him without something covering his face but it looked like he had been crying as much as Eric had. He looked away again because seeing that made his stomach clench and he didn't want to think about it. Instead he shuffled a bit, ever so slightly, and gently leaned on the older ones shoulder.

It was just a small lean, maybe Bandou wouldn't even notice, it didn't matter or did it? Eric was too fogged up and numb to really care about anything at this point ]

[chickshades]

[ Bandou had just about got the dampness out of his eyes (for now, at least) and was going to replace his glasses when he felt the gentle touch of Eric's shoulder against his own.

It took him by surprise and he jumped, if only slightly. Since when did Eric initiate any sort of contact with anyone? ]

...Eric?

[redstray]

[ He jumped a bit when his name was called and immediately retracted from Bandou. He thought he had done something wrong and proceeded to going back to how he was before. ]

S-sorry...

[ It might be because he saw Bandou's eyes getting watery, or if he felt tired and stressed and worried he did a bad thing, but Eric began wiping his eyes on his sleeve again, biting his lip. ]

[chickshades]

Ah! No, no it's fine!

[ Bandou turned fully towards Eric, flailing a bit and trying to calm his friend down. ]

You just startled me, that's all.

[ Oh great, now Eric was crying again and... damn it, he'd just gotten himself to stop and... Bandou sniffled. ]

[redstray]

[ He clenches his hair with one of his hands and tries to calm down, taking in a shaky breathe ]

I...I didn't...

[ He was trying to say he didn't mean to but the rest of it came out as English and mumbled as he tried hard not to cry or sob. ]

[chickshades]

[ Bandou didn't know what that last bit was but Eric's panicking was freaking him out. He couldn't let his comrade sit there feeling like that. ]

Hey, it's ok really.

[ He didn't know if this was the smartest thing to do but, he grabbed Eric's hand, forcing him to let go of his hair. ]

See? I don't mind.

[ The contact though. It meant Eric was there. He was still here, Eric was still here. But Totsuka...

Bandou had to hold back a sob, himself as he squeezed Eric's hand. ]

R-really... It... it's fine...

[redstray]

[ The hand grabbing made Eric stop his almost break down and stare at his hand being squeezed by Bandou's.

He squeezed back and shut his eyes, a couple of tears falling. He nodded slightly. Totsuka used to do the same, or rub his back, or hum so he kept his eyes closed, to believe it was Totsuka or to believe it wasn't and he was only imagining it he wasn't sure. ]

...okay

[chickshades]

[ Bandou took a few deep breaths. Eric seemed to be calming down a little, but him... he couldn't help but feel like one of them should have been there. To help Totsuka; to step in front and protect him from whoever had done that to him.

He closed his own eyes and let himself slump back down on his side, next to Eric, a choked sob finally escaping his throat. ]

[redstray]

[ Eric kept his eyes closed, calming down from his mild freaout. He was tired, and sad, and...he wanted it to stop.

Eric spun his head around when he heard the noise from Bandou. He had never really seen him like this. He was the idiot, flailing about and making noise and expressions that made no sense. To see him this upset was strange for Eric, like Bandou should never be like this.

He wasn't the only one upset, he wasn't the only who was crying and missing Totsuka. He squeezed Bandou's hand, maybe a bit hard but it was a reminder to them both that the other was there, warm and alive. Eric wasn't used to comforting people, but he wanted to help because he knew what the other was going through. Squeezing the others hand was all he could think of ]

[chickshades]

[ The hand squeezing is good. It's grounding. Bandou grips Eric's hand back just as tight. ]

Who's gonna randomly fall asleep on this couch now?

[ It wasn't a serious question. It's not like the couch needed a person to sleep on it. It was just a memory that popped into his head suddenly. ]

[redstray]

[ Good, because he doesn't know what else ha can do. He doesn't let go but he shifts so he's back in his curled up legs to his chest but the hand is still there. ]

...Mikoto-san...seemed to do that.

[ He mumbled out. not that he will live much longer He only half thought that maybe Bandou didn't want that answered but his brain was so fogged he wasn't sure what he was doing anymore. ]

[chickshades]

Y-yeah... He'll...

...he'll take care of everything.

[ Not just keeping the couch warm. Finding out who did this to their family. ]

[redstray]

[ He nodded a few times, agreeing. Mikoto had taken care of his old gang, he could take care of the person that was responsible for killing Totsuka.

He hiccuped a bit, as he still nodded. He hoped they found th bastard that did it. ]