homralings | After the Memory (Eric + Kusanagi)

After the Memory (Eric + Kusanagi)

[ Eric stared into space, barely focusing on the bar's counter as he heard a clock ticking somewhere.

Just two days after Mikoto's passing...or was it three? Eric couldn't tell sonce he hasn't really slept since then. Which was ine of the reasons why he volunteered tonight to watch over Anna and the bar. Fujishima offered to stay as well but after Eric snapped at him for babying him, he managed to be alone. He felt bad for that and would apologize the next time he saw the other but his mind was just in a fog.

He closed his eyes to doze but sprang them back open as flashes of what happened thay day came back. The uneasiness of watching himself do something he had no control over made his skin crawl. As well as the other patches of memories he was sure weren't from his own head. But he kept quiet. He didn't think anyone saw him being taken control of by the Colourless King and with everything that happen, he didn't want to worry anyone for it.

He vaguely heard the clock chime to 4am and sighed. Just a little longer and he would be through. ]

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[ Hearing that sounded horrible. To watch a friend burn like that. And they had to watch didin't they?

But he shakes his head. That was a nightmare, but this was different. ]

...I killed Totsuka-san

[Ah, he finally got Eric to start talking. Good.]

Really now? [Izumo watches him closely.] Was it really ya or didja think it was?

It was me...because I saw what happened after...after he was lying on the ground.

[ It was at the point of view of the Colourless King, not from the camera. Although that could be argued because he saw the camera scene so many times. ]

And I remember...shooting Anna. It was at the school, I saw her through something and...glass broke...

[ He never heard of that before but it felt real enough that he had actually tried to kill Anna that he felt sick to his stomach. ]

And from stabbing the Blue King...it was me but not me. I just walked where the debris was falling even though I didn't want to...

[Izumo listens to him talk, trying to connect everything together.

It was slowly starting to make sense.

Eric's been possessed by the Colorless King because Izumo was there when one of the Blues shot at Anna, tried to shoot at him.

He hums.]

's not ya. Everything ya saw, it wasn't ya who did all o' that. Y'know that.

[ He knows he didn't do it, he knows that the memories aren't his, but they flash as livid as his own. ]

It feels like...it was me. I could feel his emotions and thoughts and it was like wearing a second skin.

[ He shivers at remembering how he felt when his body was taken over, like he was watching himself through a screen. ]

There's others too, memories that aren't mine. But they feel like they are...I don't want to see them anymore.

[A soft hum before Izumo finally decides to get closer, slow enough so he doesn't freak Eric out again.

He doesn't want the younger man to go sprinting.]

's not easy ta forget something like that; all ya can really do is simply move on. [Which...is easier said than done, but...] 's hard in the beginning, but talking ta someone usually helps.

[ He lets Kusanagi come closer, he's too tired to run anymore ]

I don't...don't want to feel happy for killing Totsuka-san again...

[ That alone made him sick in the stomach, that made him feel guilty and want to never talk about it. ]

[As he finally gets closer, Izumo places a hand on top of Eric's head.

There's nothing he could really say to help make Eric feel better. This isn't a situation he's used to dealing with.

How does one get over being possessed?] Then don't feel happy 'bout it. Remember the other times ya were happy instead. Focus on the memories ya made with Totsuka.

[ Focus on the memories he had made with Totsuka...huh?

Being taught how to cook, Totsuka singing, going on about his crazy hobbies, him helping Eric no matter what time or for what. Saying his motto over and over again.

He smiles, it's small and sad and it brings a bit of tears to his eyes because he misses him so much. But he smiles just a little, it's better then thinking of him bloody and on the ground. ]

I'll try...

[That smile has Izumo ruffling his hair a little bit before he pulls his hand away in order to place it on Eric's shoulder.]

C'mon, let's head back. [He smiles.] After all, we still got a meal ta cook for everyone before they come closer.

[ He really needed to start talking to people about not continuously ruffling his hair, but he doesn't really mind... ]

Yeah...

[ He gets up and begins to head back to the bar. But he stops mid step and turns to look at the other. ]

Kusanagi-san?

[He starts to follow after Eric, but when he stops and turns around, he blinks at him.

And he raises an eyebrow at being called.]

Hm? What is it?

I'm sorry...about Mikoto-san and Totsuka-san...you lost two friends you knew for so long...it must be hard and just...sorry

[ What any of them were feeling except maybe Anna...must have been so small compared to what he was feeling]

[Ah--

Izumo's quiet for a moment. Losing his two best friends was hard - they didn't even really have a proper amount of time to mourn Totsuka, and now Mikoto was gone and he was the last one remaining.

But even so, he smiles.]

Those two have always done their own thing. The only thing the rest o'us can do is carry on their memory. [Keep HOMRA together (for now) and have it keep going. Just because they're dead doesn't mean the rest of them have to lay their memory to rest completely.]

[ Even though he sees the smile and knows this is Kusanagi's way he still wanted to help. ]

You're allowed to mourn and be sad. They wouldn't want you to bottle it up.

[Izumo laughs quietly, knowing how true it was.

Mikoto would hit him on the head while Totsuka would bug him until he finally says something.

He shakes his head at the memories, keeping that smile on his face.]

You're right, they wouldn't.

Then don't make others worry, just because of foolish sentiments only in your head.

[ Speaking from experience of course. But also if Kusanagi was going to be his guardian why would it only work one way and not both? ]

Mm, alright. But ya gotta promise ta do the same, too.

[He's beside Eric now, his smile widening slightly.] Now, let's head back. I got something ta surprise our princess with, too.

No guarantees. But I'll try.

[ That's all he could say. He's gotten better there is no doubt. He actualy told him what was wrong without too much prodding. He casually glances over at the older one ]

And that is?

Sometimes trying's just enough.

[Izumo starts walking, already fishing out another cigarette from his pocket while he glances back at Eric.]

How'd ya feel 'bout having a little sister?

[ He jumps a bit, blinking as he tried to comprehend that question. ]

You mean...Anna?

Yup.

You're her...guardian too?

If she lets me. [Though, he's already like a parental figure to her.

He lights the cigarette.] She's still a child, so she'll need a guardian ta look after her. This way, both o'ya can be under my wing legally.

[ He was kind of surprised he hadn't, or one of the others, been her guardians already]

Anna...I understand but why me out of everyone else?

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