My heart is a ghost town

[toremainbehind]

[The bar's been closed on a day it shouldn't be closed, but it couldn't be helped.

Izumo has chosen to take the day off, shooing everyone out of the bar, except for Mikoto and Anna since they live there. Right now, he didn't want to be near HOMRA, being reminded only of memories of Totsuka. Little tokens from Totsuka's hobbies all over the bar, placed neatly in places that can be seen but not in the way, rarely touched now.

Much like the films Totsuka had recorded during his time alive.

It's how he eventually finds himself in his apartment, perched on his couch with a shot glass of Vodka in hand and one of Totsuka's films playing. He's not quite paying attention to it, focused on the sounds rather than the images playing. Every time he hears Totsuka's voice on film, he takes a shot, his throat burning from the alcohol but it was a burn he welcomes all the same.]

Comments

[toremainbehind]

Hmm, perhaps one day soon.

[When everything will go downhill.]

[preciousmemories]

I hope you're actually nearby when he might listen then. You might be busy doing something else and by the time you get back he's not gonna listen anymore.

[When everything goes downhill.]

[toremainbehind]

The best thing I can do for him is just to stay by his side.

[Because that's all he can do now. Nothing he'll say will change Mikoto's mind. He's infuriating that way, and Izumo loves and hates that part of him.

This is why he can't allow himself to crack, even if the cracks are forming even smaller cracks.]

I was thinking of putting up all of our pictures up on that blank space on the wall.

[...considering Izumo put those pictures up shown in that one episode of return of kings after his best friends died...]

[preciousmemories]

Kusanagi-san is good at that!

[Staying by people's sides.

Infuriating and somehow endearing. They really are helplessly fond of each other.

Tatara blinks.]

You were?

[toremainbehind]

It's a position I'm used to having.

[He hums, nodding.]

I've got a box full of pictures. Might as well put them up for everyone to see.

[preciousmemories]

Hahah, we never really gave you an option, I think.

[Oh...so that's where all those pictures went.]

Good idea! Something they can just look at to remember how happy we all were, rather than having to take time to watch something.

[toremainbehind]

No, ya didn't.

I'll be sure to put 'em up later then.

[preciousmemories]

It worked out though, didn't it? We had a lot of fun together. [Even if they exasperated Izumo on multiple occasions by not quite thinking things through. (Get told not to destroy the building, tells Mikoto it's okay to destroy part of the building...)]

[toremainbehind]

Mm, even if the two o' ya gave me headaches on a daily basis.

[It's been like that long before they've established everything, though, before they became King and Clansmen. Izumo's always been the one to handle everything, Totsuka handled Mikoto, and Mikoto did his best not to burn down anything (even if he usually did).

Memories of them together that has Izumo aching, but not once will he ever let himself break down again because of it.]

[preciousmemories]

At least we didn't repeat the "kick the can" incident!

[Getting his head smashed into the ground by Mikoto was only one of the headache incidents rather than multiple. That has to count for something, right?

They were so young back then, and he's not sure if the King of back then who didn't have anything hanging over his head was more or less alive than the King who was the Red King and slept constantly.]

And you know he didn't mean to give you headaches. [He's...not sure about what he's done to give Izumo headaches, apart from being careless.]

[toremainbehind]

That's a painful memory.

[To Izumo, it was all the same to him.

Mikoto is Mikoto — King or not.]

He doesn't mean to do a lot of things, [Like leaving them all behind.]

[preciousmemories]

It definitely looked painful at the time.

[Well, he does and doesn't; he means to get revenge and that means the others will get left behind.]

And the things he does mean to do aren't always that good of an idea.

[toremainbehind]

Be glad that hasn't happened to you.

He's just full of bad ideas.

[preciousmemories]

I think being grabbed by the head hurts enough. [He is Very Glad.]

Some of them are...better than others. [Yeah, no he agrees. King is a king of bad ideas.]

[toremainbehind]

It's not nearly bad enough.

...[A look.] really?

[preciousmemories]

I never said any of them were good...

[He's really glad they're still able to talk about nothing (how dumb Mikoto can be, really) even though he's dead now. It'd be just like before, if the thought wasn't in the back of both of their heads constantly.]

[toremainbehind]

Makes me wanna punch him.

[preciousmemories]

He'd probably let you, depending on why.

[Not that Izumo couldn't hit Mikoto if he didn't let him, but...Mikoto has always felt somewhat guilty over making them his clansmen. Never mind that it was their choice.]

[toremainbehind]

He's got a guilty streak if he lets me hit him.

[Because it's always been a concern Mikoto has. Izumo's done the best he can to lessen that guilt over time.]

[preciousmemories]

I don't think there was enough time in the world to actually convince him that he doesn't need to feel guilty about something.

[Especially not now that Tatara's died because he was around him. But then, Mikoto hasn't got a lot of time left anyway.]

[toremainbehind]

It's like a domino effect. Once one starts crashing down, the rest follows.

[preciousmemories]

Yeah...

[King better be the only one to follow. It'd be best if not even he did but...that's not going to happen.]

[toremainbehind]

[He lets out a sigh, fingers twitching.

Could he touch Totsuka again?

Time to find out. He places his hand on top of totsuka's head; he could feel something, but it wasn't as solid as it was last night. And it scares him.]

[preciousmemories]

[At the hand on his head, he blinks, but then he just shifts and almost leans into the hand, smiling sadly.

He's here. But if this is any indication, Izumo won't be able to see him for much longer.

What else is there to say? They'd stopped talking really about this earlier to talk about...Mikoto instead. What else is there to say though? They already know he's dead, and that this might be the last time Izumo'll be able to see him in a long long time, if he isn't looking at remnants of their time together in the videos and images.]

[toremainbehind]

[It's sad, but he's come to terms with it.

If this is his last time seeing Totsuka, then at least it left a good memory.

There's an urge to cry, one that almost shakes him, but he just ruffles totsuka's hair.]

It's good to see you for a final time.