Kusanagi Izumo (
toremainbehind) wrote in
homralings2015-10-13 04:59 pm
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
Entry tags:
My heart is a ghost town
[The bar's been closed on a day it shouldn't be closed, but it couldn't be helped.
Izumo has chosen to take the day off, shooing everyone out of the bar, except for Mikoto and Anna since they live there. Right now, he didn't want to be near HOMRA, being reminded only of memories of Totsuka. Little tokens from Totsuka's hobbies all over the bar, placed neatly in places that can be seen but not in the way, rarely touched now.
Much like the films Totsuka had recorded during his time alive.
It's how he eventually finds himself in his apartment, perched on his couch with a shot glass of Vodka in hand and one of Totsuka's films playing. He's not quite paying attention to it, focused on the sounds rather than the images playing. Every time he hears Totsuka's voice on film, he takes a shot, his throat burning from the alcohol but it was a burn he welcomes all the same.]
Izumo has chosen to take the day off, shooing everyone out of the bar, except for Mikoto and Anna since they live there. Right now, he didn't want to be near HOMRA, being reminded only of memories of Totsuka. Little tokens from Totsuka's hobbies all over the bar, placed neatly in places that can be seen but not in the way, rarely touched now.
Much like the films Totsuka had recorded during his time alive.
It's how he eventually finds himself in his apartment, perched on his couch with a shot glass of Vodka in hand and one of Totsuka's films playing. He's not quite paying attention to it, focused on the sounds rather than the images playing. Every time he hears Totsuka's voice on film, he takes a shot, his throat burning from the alcohol but it was a burn he welcomes all the same.]
no subject
Izumo blinks his eyes open blearily, trying hard to figure out if what had happened was a dream.
He remembers, but he doesn't want to look. If he does, he might not even be able to see Totsuka and he's not sure if he can handle that again. So, his eyes flutter shut.]
...Totsuka?
no subject
How's he supposed to prove it to you he's here if you don't have your eyes open? He's not about to just go up to you and see if he's somewhat tangible but trying to touch you...
He couldn't hear him earlier either, so Tatara raises a hand and hits the wall loud enough that Izumo can hear it.
I'm here, even if rhythmic knocking is hard to decipher. I'm here, Kusanagi-san. Good morning.
Maybe he could convince him to get a whiteboard or leave his phone somewhere so Tatara could type or write...easier than trying to have paper all the time.]
no subject
There's a brief hesitation as he stares at a wall opposite from where Totsuka is before he finally musters up the courage to look.
So, he takes a deep breath and finally looks over in totsuka's direction.
And he stares, seeing him, even though he's faint. He wonders if God or something is punishing him.]
Totsuka?
no subject
Is this better or worse than being invisible again when he woke up? Tatara isn't sure anymore.]
Morning, Kusanagi-san. [This time, maybe it'll be just like before. This time, maybe they'll talk just like they did in the mornings shortly after they rescued Anna. This time, this time, this time...maybe the last time, until sometime years down the road when Izumo is also dead.]
no subject
He manages a smile back.]
'm not sure if fate is kind ta me or just a cruel mistress.
no subject
And it's not like Tatara has any complaint about Izumo smoking--he hadn't when he was alive, why would he now?]
no subject
[Where are his cigarettes?
He tilts his head as he regards Totsuka.] ...So last night wasn't a dream at all.
no subject
[...That's a good question. Where did he leave them?]
I told you it wasn't. Aren't you going to get up?
no subject
That depends on whether or not ya might end up disappearing if I do.
no subject
Get up and get your cigarettes for yourself, gosh!]
I think if something will make me disappear, it wouldn't be you getting up. [But, he's not sure why he's visible.]
no subject
But at his words, he hums and finally decides to get up.]
Doesn't answer the question why you're visible.
no subject
[Yay, Izumo's actually moving! Tatara stops leaning against the wall, taking a few steps toward the path to the kitchen. If he's getting up, he's probably going to want to eat something sometime soon.]
no subject
no subject
[No one's bitter here. Really.]
no subject
no subject
no subject
[Entering the kitchen, he fetches himself a bottle of water.]
What're ya gonna do, though? Ya can't keep staying here. Have ya tried ta....Make peace with the other guys yet?
no subject
[And why, exactly, can't he stay here?]
It's fine, it'll work out somehow, Kusanagi-san.
no subject
[Because it's weird to have Ghostsuka haunting his apartment when he's never brought him to the place often when he was alive.]
At this point, I should just leave something out for ya ta write on if I can't see ya again.
no subject
[Tatara laughs, a surprising cheerful sound considering what he just said.]
It would make it easier to let you know I'm around! Especially since that way I could respond to you even when you can't hear me.
no subject
[Ah, that laugh. It is nice to hear it again, though he doesn't comment.]
I'll be sure ta find a whiteboard or something for ya ta use then whenever you're around.
no subject
[It would be too cruel, he thinks. Give them a hope that they were mistaken and it was just a terrible dream only for him to smile at them and so that no, he is dead.
He wonders if the day he'll actually disappear is the day that they stop missing him. He wonders how long that will be--and he pushes down the desire to stay with them like he would've if he was alive still.]
Thanks, Kusanagi-san.
no subject
[Izumo wonders if there will ever be a time when they'll stop missing Totsuka — probably not.
They're family; you don't stop missing them.
He gives a nod.]
Least I can do.
no subject
[It aches less, eventually.
But then you see something, or hear something, and it reminds you of them, and it hurts all over again.
You can be telling stories years later and someone can say a phrase and then you start talking about the times you shared with them and.
It hurts. Tatara never wanted to hurt any of them, but he did by not leaving. It was never really an option, but...]
Do you think it would've hurt less if I just...hadn't stayed around you two?
no subject
[It aches less, but they'll forever miss him — them, when Mikoto dies, too.
Izumo keeps all of Totsuka's videos in his apartment, only bringing it to the bar when Anna requests for it.
Mikoto doesn't want to see them, he never does. He's never been good at this either.]
Would ya have actually stayed from us, though? [He looks over at him.] If ya hadn't stayed, Mikoto could be in a worse shape than he is in now.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
in which i actually have trouble remembering canon details
Don't worry, I don't remember much either.
\o/
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
about done, you think?
yup. Can end here