homralings | My heart is a ghost town

I'd like you to keep it that way too.

[That would be the worst situation--they're all drunk and then they all die way too early because Anna's the only one to take care of them.

He shakes his head to the question.]

If she can see me, she doesn't show it. Maybe she's just too focused on using her power to find the Colorless King, like the rest of you are.

[Or maybe the trauma has closed her off a little bit this time, instead of opening her mind up even more.]

'm not gonna give 'em alcohol poisoning.

[Can't let Anna have that kind of burden on her shoulders.

Though he blinks once.]

Mm, maybe. Ya wouldn't have any idea where he is, d'ya? [Anna's lost too many people in her life. Totsuka was someone she held dear, and now even Mikoto's running out of time.

Izumo needs to talk to her again soon.]

[He slumps, his torso on the couch facing Izumo.] I came back around the time you guys were getting ready to burn my body, so no. Sorry.

[Talk to her. He's the third parental figure to die and the fourth to leave, she needs some support from the one that'll last the longest.

Actually...] I could try looking? I'm not sure you'll be able to see me tomorrow though....Hm. [That requires some thought.]

's fine. Figured I'd ask 's all. [Though, what a horrible time to come back. Couldn't have been easy for Totsuka to see his body burn.

And he will. Izumo won't let anything happen to her - not when the clock is still ticking.]

Somehow, 'm getting the feeling this may be one o' the few times I'd actually get t'see ya. [It's a miracle in itself Izumo could see Totsuka now.]

[It was sad, watching them all cry. It hurt less than the bullet in his chest though. It was mostly just weird watching his body get destroyed, honestly.]

Ah...I hope someone else'll be able to see me when you can't. I think it'd get lonely, being around all of you without any of you being able to see me.

[He's not sure how long he'll be here before just. Not being here anymore. Nothing he's ever read has been clear about that, and he'd already started getting lonely watching them. He doesn't want any of them to die, not yet, but he knows it'll happen soon, what with Mikoto's Damocles.

If only Mikoto would actually abdicate like the Blue King keeps talking about.]

But...Don't tell them about me? I don't... [He doesn't want to give any of them a possible false hope that they'd be able to see him sometime.]

Aren't ya already lonely? [Just. An observation because Izumo briefly wonders about that.

Was Totsuka lonely? Why hasn't he passed on yet?

Izumo sort of wishes Mikoto would abdicate, too, but he knows the redhead won't do that. Mikoto's determined to settle everything himself; he wants to be the one to be able to kill the Colorless King and get revenge for what happened.

But at the question, he gives a nod.] I won't tell 'em.

Right now I have Kusanagi-san! [Completely ignoring the question. Yep.

He's probably still here because of the whole ghosts and people wanting to see them thing, honestly. He certainly doesn't want to be visible to all these people he's cared about--wouldn't that just hurt them more? They might get to see him for a while, like Izumo, but they don't know when he'll simply fade away. Maybe he'll still be there, but they won't be able to see him or hear him. But then, the ghost never has a choice in the matter.

Mikoto is stubborn, that's for sure. He smiles at that, holding a hand up so Izumo could try to touch it if he wanted to. Tatara isn't sure what he wants to happen.]

Thank you.

Still such a cold-hearted guy. [It's said with fond exasperation, though.

Izumo worries that he won't get to see Totsuka again, but that's okay. Even if he didn't, at least Totsuka is still around, watching them even though Izumo isn't sure when he'll end up fading away. At least Izumo managed to get some closure.

He eyes the hand, though. He's a ghost, so chances of him being able to touch Totsuka is pretty much zero, but he tries, anyway. Izumo stops when he seemingly touches Totsuka's palm, eyes flickering with sadness before it's masked away.

At the thanks, he simply nods.]

I found something I didn't want to let go of though. And, I didn't go hungry anymore thanks to you and King!

[Tatara sits properly on the couch now, swinging his legs. He shouldn't be disappointed that he really can't touch people, but...somehow he still is.

He already said thank you, but he isn't quite sure Izumo knew what for. And besides, it wouldn't hurt to say it all, right?]

Thanks for teaching me with Honami-sensei and for going along with some of my sillier ideas. Thanks for taking turns cooking and for letting me use your kitchen, for taking King and I with you to the first temple visit of the year, for giving me a job, for letting me stay with you guys until the end. I really was blessed, you know.

[From a child abandoned at the age of three to a dead man at 22. It's kind of staggering to think about the amount of people affected by his death, compared to the amount of people who cared about him when he was young.]

And thank you for all the other things you've done too. I think I'd be talking for hours if I tried listing them all. I had a lot of fun, you know? Though both of you liked hitting me on the head. [Never mind, maybe it did hurt. Now he's sad since he can never do those things again.]

Take care of the bonsai and the fish?

[He's quiet as Totsuka lists off everything he's thanking him for, listening to him talk.

A few of them he chuckles at, remembering just how Totsuka was. He remembered being there at Totsuka's father funeral, briefly wondering why they were there when Totsuka never got the love he should've deserved as a child.]

If ya had a solid form, I'd hit ya now. [If only he could. The little things he ended up missing, it's become a bit of a void now.]

I will. Not gonna get rid o' the other things ya put in my bar, too.

Mean! [But he smiles. It's familiar, even though it always hurt at least a little.]

Oh, could you take Anna and the others to look around at my apartment too? They might want some things from there. Might make it hurt a little less. When you have time anyway.

[His father wasn't so bad, if you thought of him as a bad friend. It's not like Tatara's ever had a good father figure. Maybe he and the other two became good ones to Anna though.

He'd like to think that.]

Thanks for never throwing those out too! You always said you were going to.

Mm, I don't see why not. [But who knows when they'll have time with the Clan hunting down the Colorless King.

He shakes his head lightly.] They actually brighten up the bar a little. [Not really, but they were mementos, tokens of Totsuka's memories, so he couldn't afford to throw them out now.]

[Tatara grins at that, falling silent for a while and still swinging his legs.

It's a bit later when he asks:]

Do you think I did it? Kept everyone's memories alive?

[It's why he started recording in the first place: the warning he got from Anna and his desire to leave Homra with at least some proof of the good times they had together.]

[For a moment, Izumo says nothing as he stares at the film that's on the screen, the last scene showing Totsuka's face — the only time he was managed to be captured on film thanks to Anna.

Breathing out, he closes his eyes before opening them. His hand moves as if to pat Totsuka on the head, but he freezes, remembering it'll just phase through him.]

Yeah, ya did. 's what's keeping us going.

[How he wishes that Izumo didn't have to stop that movement, that Tatara would be able to feel it if it had continued. But wishes don't come true very often, and he's not sure he'd like being a corporeal ghost so maybe it's better that he can't be touched.]

I'm glad.

[About it working, not about it being all that's keeping Homra functioning. He hesitates for a moment.]

Is it okay if I stay here until you fall asleep? [And until he wakes up, but if Izumo can't see him, he doesn't want to give him that hope.]

[Izumo's eyes flicker toward him, unreadable before he looks away.]

'm not sure how much fun you'll have if ya stay here. [But his answer isn't a 'no' either.

He leans back against the couch, feeling his body demanding to rest, but Izumo didn't want to sleep. Not yet.]

I think it'll be fun!

[It's better than being invisible but there. Not like Izumo could really stop him, but still. It's a nicety he didn't want to abandon even though he's. dead.]

Besides, I haven't been in your apartment very much since we went clothes shopping for Anna that first time.

[It's a weird feeling, being almost scared of Izumo being unable to see him again when he wakes up. But waking up means falling asleep so...He'll treasure this time where he's visible.]

Your opinion o' 'fun' hasn't changed either. [He sounds kind of sleepy, but Izumo's determined not to sleep.

He got to see Totsuka again — granted, it's only temporary, but he'll take what he can get.

Lowering his arm, Izumo blinks over at Totsuka, a slight frown on his face.] 's not like my apartment's changed the last time ya were here.

Why would it? I'll have to get creative again, but that's not really a change.

[Mountain climbing probably wouldn't be fun anymore now that he doesn't have a body to strain. Hm... Well, maybe he won't be here long enough to need to find ways of enjoying himself apart from watching his family. It's not like he can ask people how long they stay here before they leave.

Tatara shrugs.]

But this might be the last time I'm in it.

's not. Y'should try ta haunt the other guys.

[Which...might be a bad idea, especially since Yata's afraid of ghosts. Though, Izumo is kind of curious to see how that would go.

It'd almost be like when Totsuka was alive again.

He shakes his head at the thought and sighs.] Well, 'm not gonna say 'no'. You're free ta do whatever ya like. [Okay, he's finally feeling dreamland trying to reach out to him, prompting him to get up on his feet, though he stumbles a bit as he tries to get his sense of balance back.]

[He looks down, scratching his cheek.]

But they aren't hiding how they feel, really. Your reaction was hurt enough, I don't want to hear Yata blaming himself out of some kind of idea that the two of you might've been able to save me if you'd arrived sooner.

[That's as close as he'll get to talking about that. If Izumo's going to sleep, he wants to get the most out of this extra time as he can. Even if that just means being weird and watching Izumo for a while since he can't...really do anything else.]

Thanks Kusanagi-san! I'll try not to talk while you're trying to sleep.

Yata's the one who's more determined ta find your killer than anyone else. [Because he was the one who was holding Totsuka in his arms when he died.

But Izumo doesn't stay on the topic for long, knowing it would still hurt too much.]

Ever tried ta see Mikoto yet?

[Eyebrows furrowing slightly, Izumo breathes out heavily.]

Just try not ta be too loud at all and don't mess anything up.

...I know. [Sure, talking about Mikoto is clearly a safer subject. Tatara rubs the back of his head.]

I think that earring flashes red when I try talking to him. I was at the bar for a while so...

[He realized after about a day that none of them could see him or hear him. Unless Anna is just doing a very good job of hiding it.]

I promise! [Maybe he'll be able to write things down...? It's worth a try, even if it'll make Izumo sad when he wakes up and finds it. At least it'd be some kind of proof that this wasn't just a grief dream?]

[At hearing that Totsuka was at the bar, Izumo's eyes flickered over to him briefly before he looks away.]

His way of remembering ya, even if he chose a rather...strange way o' doing so.

[He lets out a soft huff of laughter.

Izumo's tired, so tired; he wants to believe this is a dream, just so that it doesn't hurt as much when he wakes up.

But his fingers twitches and this time, he does reach out towards Totsuka, almost trying to see if he can touch him. He feels a flicker of warmth from where his fingertips would brush against the top of Totsuka's head, causing him to look over.]

It's still creepy... [Yes, Ghostsuka is pouting. He knows why; they already talked about it, but that doesn't make it any less of a weird "grave marker".

He knows that it'll hurt Izumo either way, but maybe, maybe, if Tatara can leave some kind of proof that he really was here...maybe then Izumo wouldn't drink himself silly again, using his videos as some kind of cruel drinking game. Of course it could do the opposite in some kind of terrible wish to see him again and this isn't a good idea and--

and now Izumo's reaching out to him and he can't make himself move away. He wants to know (he's pretty sure he already knows) so he just stands there, staring at Izumo. He can feel the warmth of Izumo's hand, but he doesn't move. He could grab it, see if he actually can touch Izumo but. That's too much hope for this dead man. He can touch things, sure. He doesn't want to pass right through Izumo.]

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